How to DIY Business & Leadership Retreat Without Spending a Fortune
[A 6-Step Guide for Leaders, Entrepreneurs & Visionaries]
Ceremony at the beach, during a Medicine Wheel Training Retreat (Summer 2022)
Introduction
Think back to when you were a kid. Do you remember the night before a big, exciting day? For example: a trip to Disneyland, Christmas Day, a birthday party or the start of a summer vacation away from home—a time when there was the promise of a wish fulfilled, or anticipated fun with family and friends.
Chances were you couldn’t sleep a wink because of the excitement and anticipation of what’s to come.
As an adult, when was the last time you had a sleepless night—one caused by joyful anticipation instead of stress-induced?
For me, it’s usually before travel (whether for business or pleasure), a big event, and last but not least—before I go on retreat.
As a former marketing professional and entrepreneur turned coach with a penchant for event planning, I’ve organized and hosted dozens of events, workshops and retreats over the past decade. Add to that being a recovering self-help junkie, it’s safe to say that I’ve attended a couple hundred events, workshops, conferences and retreats over the past 25 years.
Delightfully, in the past 5 years, I’ve also discovered something delicious: the joy of organizing and taking myself on self-directed / do-it-yourself retreats.
Imagine travelling to a beautiful, secluded and sacred sanctuary. As you drive to your destination, you feel the energy shift. Your body sighs and your soul settles. Your breathing becomes easier and fuller. Your eyes smile as you look around you—the place is like a postcard, serene and surreal. It’s so quiet that the wheels of the car crunching along the narrow gravel road feels grating… invasive, even. For a moment, you worry about disturbing the wildlife. You slow down and savour this drive in, even as you can’t wait to walk through the door of your place of retreat and begin. Your heart is palpitating with anticipation and yet you feel at peace with your decision. As you continue along the path, you place one hand on your heart and silently thank yourself for carving out the time and space to step away from your daily life and enter a period of retreat—to rest, review, re-vision and rebirth a new you.
View from Cates Hill in Bowen Island, at Rivendell Retreat Centre, one of my favourite retreat centres in BC.
Why this Topic and Why Now?
Life as we know it has become faster and fuller, more complex and crisis-filled than ever before. We live in a world that places endless demands on our time, energy and life force. Technology continues to grow at a rapid pace and infiltrates our daily life, but humanity is not evolving at the same pace in terms of how to handle the ubiquitous nature of our relationship with it. We’ve long known that the post-WWII Industrial Capitalist hypergrowth at all costs mentality is not sustainable at any level. Now, the post-Covid era has ushered in a collective imperative to dig deep within. As the saying goes, “You cannot change something with the same consciousness that created it.”
It may seem like we’ve made huge progress as a human species since WWII. And we have. And, in some ways, we’ve made things worse. We are playing the same scripts of warfare/weapons, inequality/injustice, environmental destruction, food insecurity, declining health and wellness, abuse of power and misuse of money. The imperative for change and transformation is called upon not just for individuals but also for families, organizations and the world as a collective.
People are hungry for truth and connection. Families could use more unity and harmony. The world needs more health and wellness, hope and justice. And these deeply cherished values cannot be “acquired” off the shelf like the latest trend or flash sale. They come from within and flow outward in the choices we make daily. One of the best ways to tap into more of what you’ve been longing for is to make space for it. This is why “retreating” is a personal and political imperative.
What is a Retreat?
The Oxford Dictionary defines retreat as both a verb and a noun:
(v) “to withdraw to a quiet or secluded place.”
And
(n) a quiet or secluded place in which one can rest and relax.
(n) a period of seclusion for the purposes of prayer and meditation.
Its origins from Latin retrahere (to pull back), Old French retrat and English retract
For the purpose of this article, I define “retreat” as an intentional time for rest and review in order to make space for listening to one’s inner voice and develop or deepen connection with the sacred. I use the word “retreating” as a general verb to describe the act of going on a retreat.
Who This is For
People have been doing retreats since time immemorial. It is often associated with spiritual, religious or academic folks (as in the term sabbatical), leaders and high-society bourgeoisie, writers and artists, professions prone to burnout and compassion fatigue, and those with time, money and privilege.
But retreating is and should be for everyone, including those whom we may consider to be least needing or deserving of a retreat:
stay-at-home / full-time / new moms and dads
students
folks in between jobs (i.e. unemployed/seeking employment)
career changers
grandparents
people with disabilities
people who live with chronic health issues and terminal illness
those serving time in the justice system
shift workers; temporary foreign workers
people who just lost their jobs
those recently separated or divorced
those grieving the death of a loved one or significant loss
recently retired folks
family members who are caregivers
“starving” artists
burned out activists
people who don’t ‘think’ they need a retreat
and many more…
In this article, I offer a guide to DIY (Do It Yourself) Business & Leadership Retreat for Entrepreneurs and Executives, but it doesn’t mean that you cannot adapt it to your personal needs.
I cover the 6 steps to designing your retreat experience from start to finish, and how to have the most impactful time doing so.
My intention is that this be informative and inspiring for you, and that you actually go on a self-directed retreat as a result.
Many of the points may seem simple and obvious, but sometimes the hardest step is to choose the simple and obvious!
What a Retreat is Not:
A vacation (if you have planned vacation to go somewhere for fun, leisure and recreation, that is great; however you can use your “vacation time” to plan a retreat instead)
The extra 1-2 days you add on to business or work trip
A time to catch up on your reading, podcast or audiobook list
Common Reasons People Go On Retreat
Major life change or transition moving from one stage of life to another
Spiritual seeking or calling
Bored, burned out or broken from their ‘regular’ life
The only time they can have me-time
To grow their faith or deepen connection with God or the Divine
To start or continue a meditation practice
To “get away” from their everyday stresses and responsibilities
To unplug from technology and reconnect with and listen to their inner voice
Roadblocks to Retreating
Don’t have the time
Don’t have the money
What about my spouse/children/elderly parents?
Will I get the time off work?
What will I do?
Where will I go?
Benefits of Going on Retreat
Get away from everyday stresses and challenges
Unburden yourself from your roles and responsibilities
Be held and healed by Mother Nature
Deep restorative rest (awakening naturally, not to the alarm clock)
Reset your over-stimulated nervous system
Allow your creative juices to flow
Reconnect/reclaim your essential nature
An unshakable sense of calm and peace
The 6-Step Guide
Step 1 : Know your why and what you want to accomplish
As you can see from the list above, there can be myriad reasons for going on retreat, but each person and situation is unique. Whatever your reasons, be honest with yourself about what it is. Embrace and welcome it without judgment.
Even if it is not on the list as a popular reason to go on retreat, acknowledge it as yours and honour the longing to retreat by listening to its nudges.
If you are someone who is familiar with going on retreats organized by others, you may want to try something new and do a self-directed retreat. Or vice versa.
It is true that many people go on retreat based on a sense of urgency, prompted by life’s circumstances to stop everything and regroup. Retreating makes sense when we are in crisis, when things don’t make sense, when we feel lost and confused, when we are seeking something, when we want to be left alone.
But it’s also perfectly legitimate to go on retreats when there is nothing “wrong” with your life. “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” as the adage goes. These days, going on regular retreats, at least once a quarter, is a necessity (not a luxury) for my health, wellness and spiritual practice.
There are also times when the reasons to retreat are simple: To be in silence. To be in nature. To be in communion with our inner selves and God. To rest. Even as this step suggests that you establish a clear purpose before going on retreat, it is also worthwhile to simply acknowledge the need, desire or longing to go on retreat without a purpose other than to relish in the natural benefits of the practice. So go with it. And perhaps the purpose will reveal itself to you as you are retreating.
Step 2 : Set up the logistics: set the date, make bookings, and inform the people in your life
The logistics step is one that challenges most people, which then causes them to abandon the idea of going on retreat altogether.
The most important part of this step is to pick a date and clear your schedule for a set number of days. I recommend a bare-bones minimum of 2 days, a sweet spot of 5 days, and for as long as 7, 10 to 14 days for those who have more time and space to devote.
As you’ll discover once you enter the retreat, it takes about half a day to a day to transition into it, and about double the amount of time (1-2 days) to transition out of it. This is why I recommend 5 days, so that you have 2 days ‘bookending’ the retreat experience.
Location
There are as many possible retreat ideas as there are reasons to retreat. The more obvious ones are existing meditation and retreat centres that often have dedicated spaces for self-directed retreats as well as programmed retreats, many of them affordable and by donation. For others, expect to pay market price. Google “retreat center” and your location and you will find a list of places to start.
A second obvious option is to find accommodation on AirBnB or VRBO in your location of choice.
And then there are alternative ideas for retreat locations, near or far:
Right in your own home or city/town, especially if you live on your own or have a space conducive to retreating—plan a retreat around a staycation, incorporating local parks, cafes/restaurants, and sights of interest;
House- or pet-sitting automatically puts you in a new environment;
Last-minute booking apps such as Hotel Tonight allows you to find hotels on the cheap;
Campgrounds: dust off your camping gear or book a trailer/RV on outdoorsy.com
Work exchange: volunteer on a farm or ashram in exchange for a retreat location
Depending on the nature of your relationships and responsibilities, informing the people in your life about your plans may be harder than setting up the logistics.
Ideally, you would have already had the conversation with your significant others (those whom you live and work with, and those who depend on you) about your plans to be “away” and “unplugged” for a period of time. Ideally, you would have received their blessing and support to go forth and accomplish whatever you sought to do in retreat.
So, this step is about informing them about your plans and ensuring that they have what they need to meet their responsibilities without you for a period of time.
Tiny cabin in the woods for one of my first self-directed retreats (inside/outside)
Step 4 : Packing & Preparation
A huge draw of retreating is a new or different environment in which to spend time in, away from familiar spaces. Part of the joy of retreating is meeting a new space and creating an oasis, a sanctuary, a ‘home away from home’ while on retreat.
So, unless you are planning a ‘staycation’ retreat in your own home, it is very likely that you’ll need to pack a bag or small suitcase for your retreat. When packing, focus on simplicity and minimalism. Overpacking and being surrounded by clutter is not conducive to retreating. Find out what supplies and amenities are available at your retreat location, and pack only what you need.
When you take yourself on a retreat and unpack when you arrive, not only do you bring your material things but you also bring with you (and hopefully will unburden) any invisible ‘luggage’ from your life—your hopes, dreams, fears and worries.
Suggested Items to Bring to Your Retreat (besides the obvious such as clothing and toiletries)
Symbols of significance: item(s) that support your retreat’s purpose—this can be anything from a poem, photo(s), figurine, gifts, memorabilia, book (1-2 books, if relevant, as opposed to a stack of books)
Cocooning comforts: your favourite pillow(s), blankets, ponchos, stuffed animals/dolls, etc.
Soothing scents: Essential oils, candles or incense (if the location allows)
A journal (but not books) and your favourite pens
Supplies and crafts if you’re feeling creative
Healthy and nourishing snacks, or groceries for simple meals if you will make your own
Any supplements and medications that you need
If you are someone who already has a beautiful home space, try not to bring your whole house, but rather choose a few items to take with you.
Step 5 : Travel, Entry & Transition In
Depending on the retreat location you have chosen, travel is often a part of the retreat experience. It may not come as a surprise to you that your retreat starts when the decision was made and logistics set. The rest of the steps are simply part of the journey.
Do not underestimate the significance of the travel, entry and transition in. Do this step with care and consciousness. This is a time when you can mindfully choose the energy with which you start your retreat. You can even imagine (or write down) a simple visualization of how you will arrive at your retreat location, as found in the description at the beginning of this article.
Step 6 : Retreat Time & Ideas for How to Spend Your Time
So much has gone into the planning, travelling and arrival that there can be a feeling of, “What now?” when you finally arrive at your destination, unpack and settle in. The first night is usually the hardest as you acclimatize to the new space and find your retreat groove. It can be helpful to have a general idea of how you will spend your days. The beauty of a self-directed retreat is that you can design your time to your heart’s content and fill it with all the things that resonate with you.
Here are some ideas for what you can do on retreat:
Unplug & Detox from Technology. As much as you can, leave your phone and computer at home (or in the car). Create boundaries around when you do use technology (perhaps it’s 15 minutes once or twice a day checking for any urgent messages). A complete unplug is recommended, so that you are as present as possible to your retreat experience.
Establish your Rhythm & Routine: If you don’t already do this, incorporate a simple morning and evening routine to establish comfort and familiarity in structure. If you already do this in your ‘regular’ life, see if you can step out of your comfort zone and do something different: for example, on one particular retreat, I woke up at 5am, sat in silent meditation until sunrise, then I felt that I wanted to go for a morning walk in the woods. In doing so, I encountered a family of deer. I did this daily for 5 days, which is something I would never do at home. It brought such comfort to see the same family of deer for all the days, as though they accompanied me on the journey. I wouldn’t otherwise have had a chance to meet them this way. For the evening, I made post-dinner tea (that I brought with me), ended the day with some stretching and yoga, and enveloped myself in poems and prayers as I drifted off to a deep slumber. In my ‘regular’ life, I sometimes do these practices, but not with the same level of devotion and consistency. Because you’re in retreat, the benefits of these practices are compounded as well.
Rest & Dream. Sleep in as much as you want, lay down for a nap or (day)dream as much as you want. You may find that you spend the first couple of days sleeping, and that’s fine. If you are extra tired and burned out, you may spend the majority of your retreat time sleeping. It may seem counterproductive, but if you have sleep debt, then it is an important first step towards recovering what you’ve given up. This is also a good time to engage in basic dreamwork, since you are sleeping so much anyway. Keep a dream journal beside your bed and write down your dreams in as much detail as you can recall, in present tense. You do not need to know ‘dream analysis’ to develop a relationship with your dreams. Begin with a simple, sincere intention to remember your dreams and write them down when you wake. Allow the images, characters, symbols and metaphors to speak to you, without consulting a dream dictionary (you can do so when you get home, however).
Review & Evaluate. One of the key reasons for retreating is intentionally carving out time to look at your life from a different perspective. A bird’s eye view of your life and business is much more achievable when you step away from it for some time. It affords you the gift of perspective and detachment. There are a variety of tools for review and evaluation, so choose your favourites. In my own self-directed retreats, I use the following:
A simple, self-created tools similar to The Wheel of Life for a general review (reflecting on each aspect of your life, which areas are prominent, what you can truly celebrate, what has been challenging, and which areas are ripe for growth and improvement).
SWOT (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats) Analysis in any area of life—could be business or career, but also health, relationships, a new opportunity or direction
A visual annual review, on paper: the “word for the year” and big-picture goals in the centre, four quadrants representing the four quarters, and noting the highlights and lowlights for each
The Wheel of Sustainable Success™ framework (available as a free download at www.raindancerhome.com) , which allows you to tune in holistically to your business vision, direction and operations, detect any imbalances and course-correct
Anchor in your (New) Vision & Direction. Retreats are a time to not only review and evaluate where you’ve been and lessons learned, but also to (re)birth a new vision for yourself. It is only from a place of pause and peace—when you can listen deeply to our innermost calling—can you even begin to dream and envision something different for our life and business. Any other time, you can be too distracted and dishonest about what’s truly the right direction for you.
I remember about 4-5 years ago when I was at a critical crossroads in life and business, when I could feel that ‘business as usual’ wasn’t going to cut it anymore, that the old ways were dying and falling away, but I also couldn’t see how I could do things differently and how I could bring something new to life. At the time, I could only imagine the next phase of life and business that I could step into, so I wrote down my vision in as much detail as I could, knowing none of it was my reality at the time. Even so, I trusted in that vision not really knowing how my life needed to change in order to create it. For a long time, about 2 years, that was all I had: the 2 pages in my journal, which I also recorded as a guided audio meditation for myself as a reminder. It took 2 years for me to see the actual steps more clearly, but in that time, I never lost sight of it, and my life proceeded to change and evolve in ways that matched that vision. So, I encourage you to write down your new vision, however impossible it may seem right now, and hold on to that seed, nurture it privately and purposefully, until it’s ready to bloom and be seen in the world (you’ll know when the time comes).
Prayer altar (using nature items) that I created during retreat
Step 6 : Exit, Transition Out and Integration
However many days you spend on retreat, there comes a time when it’s complete and you get ready to go home to your ‘regular’ life.
Retreats have a rhythm and beauty all their own. And as you pack your bags and prepare for re-entry, you may experience a myriad of emotions: joy for having discovered something valuable and precious, gratitude for the time and space to care for your soul, sadness that it has come to an end, regret at what you didn’t have a chance to do, excitement about the new thing(s) you are about to embark on, anxiety about integrating back to your daily life and how others will respond to the ‘changed’ you.
As with your entry and transition into retreat, it’s important to be mindful—protective, even—about your return to normal life. Retreat time is a powerful container for deep, transformational inner shifts. And returning may feel wobbly and disorienting at first. Resist the urge to share the details of your retreat with others. It can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to integrate all that you have received during retreat. Be extra gentle and protective during this time. Like anything that is gestating, it spends a significant amount of time unseen and hidden. This is a necessary part of the process. Then, after you have integrated the gifts of your experience, share only what’s relevant to share once you know that it will be received with respect and reverence.
A favourite ‘lookout’ spot by the lake
Conclusion & Call to Action
In a world where the attention economy dominates every aspect of life, the act of retreating and turning your attention inward (instead of outward) is a form of healthy resistance. At a time when technology has created both ease and convenience as well as disease and disconnection, going on retreat is necessary medicine to reconnect with what really matters—your heart and soul, what gives your life meaning and purpose.
There is no shortage of packaged and programmed retreats in the health and wellness marketplace. Obviously, take advantage of opportunities to participate in these.
That being said, we must all be empowered to take ourselves on a retreat on demand—because sometimes the dates just don’t work, you want an individualized experience, and you may not always have thousands of dollars to spend or spare. Regular retreats—at least once or twice a year—are necessities, not luxuries. Retreats must be as integral to our health and wellness routines as brushing our teeth, taking supplements, going to the gym, and annual medical check-ups, and so on.
Whoever you are and whatever your reasons for longing to go on retreat, listen to it and honour it. Make yourself a date for this sacred and precious time. It does not have to be fancy or expensive. Simplicity and minimalism are key. If you are a complete newbie and the idea of planning your own retreat or getaway feels overwhelming, start with a half-day retreat staycation in your own town. The main thing is getting started.
If you enjoyed and appreciated reading this guide to do-it-yourself or self-directed retreats, share it with a friend or colleague! Who knows, you may inspire someone to finally make the time and prioritize a retreat they have been wanting to do for years.
Two ways to experience retreats with me and my colleagues + collaborators:
1:1 VIP Visioning & Strategy Sessions that have a retreat-like feel, from ½ days to 2-day weekends. Perfect for when you've been too busy or burned out working in your business and craving the time and space to breathe and (re)vision your big-picture strategy and direction. (Re) connect with WHY you're in business in the first place and get a much-needed spiritual and strategic chiropractic to (re) align you and your team to heart-centered purpose and crystal-clarity direction. If this speaks to you, drop a note to workwithme@raindancerhome.com to set-up a discovery chat.
Small Group Retreats (6-8 leaders) based on interest, topic and location: sign up for my newsletter to receive notification when a group retreat is available
Please leave a comment below or drop me a note to let me know your biggest takeaway or aha moment from this article. I’d love to hear what you feel inspired to take action on as a result, or any ideas you have for a retreat that you’d like to experience. As we begin to gather more freely again, I look forward to being able to offer group retreats in the near future.
Happy Retreating! Wishing you the best in your sweet & sustainable success.
© 2022 Rosalyn C. RainDancer
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